Understanding personality: How to bring out the best in yourself and others
Personality matters. And never more so than in these stressful times when many of us are remote working and when our usual personality traits are likely to be amplified. I have mediated countless workplace conflicts that had their origins in - or escalated due to - personality clashes.
Yet many individuals and organisations lack a common language to talk about personality difference constructively. They might know that there are potential clash points between certain members of staff who are very different. But they are often fearful of talking about these differences openly or, if they do, they don’t know how to move beyond awareness of difference towards empathy and adaptability.
Inspired by the Lumina Spark* psychometric, here are some tips to help you understand and manage your personality, so you can bring out the best in yourself. These tips can also be applied to supporting others to develop their self awareness and self management. But, if you want to improve teamwork and deepen connections, I encourage you to begin with self.
Start with strengths
Identifying and utilising our strengths boosts individual and team wellbeing and performance. Consider what everyday qualities or strengths you bring to your work.
What qualities help you to do your job well?
Which of your qualities most benefit those you work closely with?
What would your closest colleagues say your top qualities are?
For example, perhaps you are empathetic, adaptable or evidence-based? Logical, purposeful or imaginative?
Consider your overextensions
We can all overdo our strengths and this can have an impact on us and those around us. Consider which qualities you overextend, generally or in times of stress.
What causes you to overextend in these qualities?
What is the impact on you of these overextensions?
What might the impact of these over-extensions be on those you work with?
For example, perhaps one of your qualities is being measured and this serves you well in your work, apart from when you are stressed and your measured quality makes you serious and withdrawn. Or perhaps you are naturally demonstrative but this tips into becoming overbearing at times.
Practise compassion
Try to remember that we are all unique and our different personalities call for varied work practices. There is more than one way to be productive, for example. For people who are more discipline driven, planning and structuring their day will help them to be productive. But this approach will not work for people who are more inspiration driven - a more flexible approach will boost their productivity.
Stay curious - instead of judging yourself (or others) for certain personality traits and styles, try to ask why you are behaving in that way. And then practice self compassion through working out how you can support yourself in these stressful times.
When are you at your most productive?
How do you like being communicated with?
What kind of communication irritates you?
How has this been affected or intensified during lockdown?
Who do you need to share these communication preferences with and how might it change your relationship?
To find out more about Lumina and your personality, book onto my upcoming virtual workshop - Understanding Your Personality: An Introduction to Lumina Spark
*Lumina Spark is a cutting-edge psychometric that gives us a common language to understand and talk about our personalities. It reveals our everyday, underlying and overextended qualities, as well as our personality styles or ‘aspects’. The Lumina Spark methodology avoids the bias inherent in many other popular psychometrics, and it doesn’t ‘box’ or stereotype.
This piece was written for Brighton Chamber’s blog.
