Self-sabotage: why we push others away in the moments that we most need them

My 3 year old loves flowers. Yesterday I gave her some that I had found on the ground. She was so delighted - repeatedly and lovingly arranging them, smelling them, gazing at them. And then I inadvertently said something that provoked an outburst of anger and she started hysterically ripping them to shreds in protest. It was a tragi-comic moment, seeing her do something so pointless and destructive that hurt no one but herself…