5 simple tips for building team resilience in the face of chronic uncertainty

I walked into central Brighton earlier this week. In the space of half an hour, I witnessed three aggressive incidents. The first was a driver speeding around a corner, and then stopping to swear out of his window at my friend who was about to cross the road. The second was a driver too, shouting abuse at a taxi driver who was trying to pull out in front of him. The third was perhaps the most shocking in its unfairness - we were talking to a homeless man who had said he was hungry and a man walked past and shouted back angrily that ‘no homeless person in Brighton is starving’.  

This experience was highly uncharacteristic of Brighton. A city I moved to 4 years ago from East London, where people tend to have time for each other, and where I was struck instantly by the community spirit and compassion I saw around me.

My initial reaction to these incidents was anger and disgust - how dare you treat others like that. But I then reflected on WHY these three people might have behaved in this way. It is not surprising that fear and uncertainty - combined with social isolation - trigger our survival instincts, and these can cause human beings to behave in uncharacteristic ways. The impact of fear and uncertainty on me might not show in the same way, but it is there nonetheless. For example I am more irritable and impatient towards my husband and I shouted at my children this morning over something relatively minor.

So what can we do?

Most of us suppress our fears and worries, often because we don’t want them to overcome us and because at times like this we just have to keep going - to get our businesses, staff and families through this.  But when feelings are not expressed they don't go away; instead they come out in unhealthy ways that are destructive to self or others - causing anxiety, depression, aggression, and ultimately leading to more isolation and a lack of focus, creativity and productivity. 

Here are some simple practices that have helped me to build and maintain resilient and productive teams in the midst of uncertainty or crisis. I hope they help you and your teams too. 

Tip #1: Name strong feelings, don’t ignore them

This is the single most important thing we can do, both for ourselves and for others around us. If you are a leader, encourage your people to voice their feelings to you, both in remote team meetings and in remote 1:1s. Model vulnerability yourself - share your own feelings - this will help to normalise honesty around emotions. Use this feelings inventory if people are struggling to articulate their feelings: https://www.cnvc.org/sites/default/files/feelings_inventory_0.pdf

Tip #2: Empathise with, instead of trying to change, the difficult feelings 

Work hard to listen deeply and to understand what people are feeling and why, without trying to make those feelings go away. ‘You’ve said you are feeling really upset and scared about the future - your job feels insecure and you’re worried about the long-term impact on your family.’

Tip #3: Uncover the needs beneath the feelings

Difficult feelings such as anger, fear, worry and sadness are difficult but they are also important messengers. They tell us that we have psychological needs that are not being met. If we can understand what people need, we can potentially change how they feel. Use this needs inventory if people are struggling to articulate their needs: https://www.cnvc.org/sites/default/files/2018-10/CNVC-needs-inventory.pdf

Tip #4: Empower people to come up with solutions

Once you know what people need, it is easy to just suggest solutions. But try first to ask and empower others to come up with solutions that will meet their needs. These need to be grounded in the tough reality, so frame your questions in these terms, so you are not building up unrealistic expectations. ‘Given we are all having to work from home now, how could we meet your need for community and connection? What could you do to ensure you feel connected with the team?’ Or ‘So I’ve heard how important clarity is for you. Given that there are some things we can’t know at the moment, what would give you a sense of clarity, in the midst of this huge uncertainty? What is within our power to do? What will you do if you are not clear?’

Tip #5: Make the above practices a team habit that becomes part of your culture

Begin each team or 1:1 meeting with a simple question - ‘How are you feeling?’ Do a go-round and ask people to share a word or phrase that describes how they are feeling. Summarise what each person says to show you have heard them. This will help you through the current uncertainty and will transform your culture, building a loyal, supportive, honest and resilient team for the long-term.